Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Its been some time ..

Alors .. Its been some time being here .. havent missed it though ..

Feels like a burden to put to pen all that has passed .. A really shitty phase of my life .. specially when i thought that it was going to be fun thereon ... but well thats life..

Well .. I am in Paris ..  and not really happy about what and how things have gone by .. what has been left .. and what more is to come ..

It seems that I have been very unlucky(If ever I was a believer) but the sheer magnitude of how deeply i have been fucked up(and how many a times) makes me believe in all superior forces lol.

It would have been a good book(with unbelievable sadistic events) if ever i write it down, but no I am too fed up with being obsessed with it and yet unable to do much about it. Life(the hypothetical unreeling creature that now it seems to me) kicks you in the face till you are brought to the ground and then  again when you try and get up. Maybe it does'nt holds true for everyone but yes it did for me.

I will leave you all here. Have a good life,


Friday, January 30, 2009

wonder how it is

Phasing through my BTech Project, I have grown seemingly confused by the day. Not that I feel like complaining, it has just been a rather, should we say a mixed experience doing novel things. Research at primitive(undergraduate) level, always remains superficial. It took me six months of unrecognized labour to come up with my first publication. Things I thought would be a days work, proved to be objects of endless dwelling. And with all this, I feel I have been ignoring a fairly decent and positive end of existing self. No movies, no theater, no streetplays and to top it off .. no music!!.

Smoking has been on an all time high, it hurts my pocket and may be my lungs too. The transition from Gudang Garam, to Choti Goldflake, to Ultra Milds may seem like a conscious effort towards self preservation(lol), but, unfortunately I am still an addicted bastard catering to my lesser desires. Smoking to me, comes as an indirect consequence of excessive strain and brainless contemplation, there is simply too much to think as of now.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Just a long sleep ..

It was a long sleep, though i knew what was going around and what was to come. Wasnt a mistake... it was just a long sleep.
The ease with which the human mind gets u disoriented .. or rather you let it hop onto the longer path is praiseworthy. Not really good ..but yea praiseworthy.
So after a large number of stints and getting my trousers dirty through different mud, i am back ..trying to write something interesting about the way i slept, through the voids of the frames of some important moments of my mortal being and yet had a feel of the corners my head rubbed against.

Things that went well and were significantly important as to how i would remember them in the coming few years:

1. The Internship with I.S.R.O

2. The stay at Rishi dada's place.

3. The books i read(though i didnt approve of the authors in the beginning).

4. The gigg at chinu's place the booze party and that niftian nymphette i was so happy to be around with.

5. The Zeros

6. The first insemesters[lol ..sorry]

7. The change in the fag brand.

8. Basketball.

9. The weekends(The graduate school hunt... Internship Applications ..those 2 replies .. all happened during these weekends.)

10. ....


Events i enjoyed being sleeping through:

1.The Biotech elective.. fuck!!. Am sure the field and its applications are not as boring as they sounded to me. I have in past and now .. developed an immunity to what lady teachers preach.

2. My P.C .. the motherboard enjoying its warranty has been to mumbai on more occasions than me.

3. My leg injury. Kept me out of the baddi court. Though i took some time on the concrete courts practising baskets.

4. Bastards audioslave did broke off (no food for thought for me till i find some new jammers)

5. and yeaa ... an electric guitar costs a fortune .. so dont save to buy one .. cozz u'll never be able to save enough for the amps ..distortion kits and the processors.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

A man with with an intense passion and no room for compromises, he carries a magnetic persona and an equally strong aura around him, which makes him the most revered faculty in the campus. From his deep interest in electronics to his unmeasured love for sports, especially TT, Professor R. N. Biswas reveals his feelings unguarded. Kunal Dutt goes behind the steely exterior of the academic stalwart.

[Prof. Biswas did his Bachelor's from University of Calcutta after which he worked at ISI as an engineer for two years. He, then left ISI for a MS which eventually became Ph.D. at University of California, Berkley. After that he worked for RCA (Radio Corporation of America, now a Thomson Inc. brand) at NJ, which incidentally was the inventor of color TV, for another two years. He was offered 6 jobs including, two from HP and West Coast another from MIT and a permanent one from University of MD. But, he spurned them all, because he'd promised and had made his decision to return to India and teach at IIT Kanpur. After teaching at IIT for 26 years, he joined DA-IICT where he is a Senior Professor in Electronics.]



Sir, before I start, I'd like to know your full name. It is Ranendra Narayan Biswas. (He says in a trademark staccato voice)

Prof. Biswas, if you were to trade your Electronics with any one thing in this world, what would that thing be?

(To this he promptly asks back, you mean as a profession or as a passion? I replied to him, saying he could openly interpret it.) As a profession, switching into different discipline or field would be very implausible option because I don't have the required training to venture into them. But because my profession and passion is teaching, if I were to trade my Electronics with something, I think it has to be Sanskrit literature, esp. the Indian Civilization and the great epics which have always fascinated me. (I shot back saying, so a kind of philosopher if not a professor? He smiles..) Well you can say that.

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:50 PM continue
Sir, did you always want to be a researcher or was it after doing your Ph.D. that you got gravitated towards the world of academia?

I consider myself as a teacher. That's what I've always wanted to be. I don't think I'm just a researcher or put it the other way, I'm more of a teacher than a researcher. See, researchers acquire knowledge and keep it to themselves or they work further upon them to build upon their past efforts. But, a teacher learns something and shares them with others. That's what I do. Sharing what you've learnt gives a new dimension to teaching, as I've found it. That is the reason why I keep telling you stories in my lectures. Also, when I went to UCB for my higher studies, I saw new things there and realized that teaching could be challenging. That's one of the reasons, I took up this profession, and must say I enjoy it.

What's your greatest passion in life, apart from academics?

(Pat comes the reply.) Sports, as an activity. Sports teaches you humility. When you are out there in the midst of a fierce competition, you know that you can't win everything. It helps you accept defeat, graciously in your life. (The way he effused about sports, it appeared to me, that here is a man who has enjoyed sports and life to the fullest).

If you were to encapsulate your secrets of success in three words, what would those be?

(He spells out them in three rich nuggets of wisdom.) "Do what you enjoy". "Imagine beyond reading and doing". "Never compromise". A person who compromises and settles for an inferiority is a persona non grata to me. Also, never tell a lie. I mean, innocuous joking is ok but maliciously lying is unacceptable to me. (He even furnishes an incident from the college to explain the third commandment.)

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:51 PM continue
When lab resources were getting allocated, the authorities said to me that the labs don't need ACs. To this I said to the then director that you want to have a super cool environment in your chamber and I'm supposed to sweat for my earning. I imediately put my foot down and said "I won't go", unless you get the labs air-conditioned. I'm not going to compromise on that. I'll never compromise.

Your favorite book. Both technical and non-technical. Any particular genre that catches your fancy, like sci-fi, drama or romance, etc. ?

Technical..uhh..(he retires into a deep thought) I don't think I can single out a particular book. I have read so many of them and technical books are like you read them and you forget them. So, there is not much of retention in its original form. As far as other books go, a particular genre that holds special interest for me is that of science fiction. I have read all of H. G. Wells, Issac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Ray Bradbury, but the one who interested me most and continues to do so is the great author Jules Verne. Asimov, well I like his imagination but he tends to assume a US tone in his implication, which somewhat bothers me.(He displays his past boyish charm on his face and his face lights up as he mentions his name. Certainly his favorite. He's not very much taken in by the new-age thrillers and crime novels like Ludlum or Clancy and others of their ilk. I mention the name of "The Da Vinci Code".) Well, I've heard of it but haven't got time to read it. (After much prodding about his technical favorites, he's is reminded of something and he points his finger towards the cupboards in his cubicle) I've got the entire collection of "Richard Feynman's Lectures on Physics". Again, I keep referring to them but haven't really finished them. (Then, a very typical side of his emerges) I've read almost all of Arthur Conan Doyle (again flashing the pleasure of having read classics, on his face). Also, from UK, I've read J�rgen Kr�nig, John Boynton Priestley, among others.

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:53 PM continue
Then, there is a lot of Bengali literature that I've read. Tagore, of course. Then, Vibhuti Bhushan Bandopadhyay, the writer of the The Apu Trilogy- Pather Panchali, Aparajito, and Apur Sansar. He was a mystic author, he saw extraordinary beauties in ordinary things of life. I have read the entire trilogy, and of course watched the Ray's adaptations too. (I asked about Kafka) Yes, yes. I�ve read his stories and few novels too. Of diaspora writers, I like Rushdie's books but haven't really got the chance to appreciate Naipaul's work. (It immediately reminded me of his book "A House for Mr. Biswas", pun definitely intended.)

Prof. Biswas, we know you are a big admirer of Akira Kurosawa's works like 'Rashomon'. So, what other movies do you prefer to watch? What are your views on sci-fi flicks like "The Matrix Trilogy" or the Oscar winners like "A Beautiful Mind" and "Life is Beautiful"?

Well, Kurosawa is one of my favorites. There are other too, like Ingmar Bergman and others. The reason why I like Kurosawa and movies of those types is that there is something you can carry away after you've watched the movie unlike the Bollywood movies which are completely pointless and lacking in beauty. Once I'd watched a Hindi movie and after I was done watching, I realized that i don't know what I've watched. That's why I don't go to these movies, though my family members keep pulling me to come with them. (then he mentions the name of Spielberg, albeit in a sarcastic tone) OK, he's doing fantastic entertainment but what is the message. I somehow couldn't appreciate it. I mean, look what Jules Verne did it with paper and pencil vis-�-vis these people. (Talking about 'The Matrix' and other sc-fi flicks) This make-believe world somehow doesn't appeal to me.

Any particular music choices. Again which genres best sooth your senses? What opinion do you form about this 'soul of today's youth' called rock?

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:55 PM continue
I like Indian Classical Music, Songs adapted from Tagore's lyrics, Western Classical, Western Jazz, (I mentioned Blue, he immediately snapped back) No, not Blue. Then folk songs, Calypso by Belafonte and of course Mozart and Beethoven. But not this Rock, Pop and disco music. Though, I've been to a disco but the music is a no-no for me.

Your choicest delicacy. I mean what would you give your eyetooth for?

Any quality food would do. But yes, (and he reemphasizes his third principle) no compromise on the quality. I can eat good Indian, good Chinese, good Thai, good Mexican, good Italian, good Malaysian...(I still kept pressing about his particular choice to which he replied) I've crossed the threshold, beyond which the sense of appraisal as far as the culinary choices go disappear. Now, my taste buds only want to enjoy the food. I don't care if it is better than the some other dish or not, because I've tasted everything.

Have you ever faced failures in your life? How well did you surmount them?

(To this he first described how difficult was it for him to put together his financial resources for traveling and staying in US for his higher studies.) Well, that was a risk I'd taken, and it worked. (he remarks with renewed self-confidence). Talking about failures, I never failed my parents which is very important in anybody's life, I never failed my teachers and I never failed my friends. But if you consider the minor fights that I had with my friends and then reconciling after a gap of two weeks or so or if you consider my not being able to convince the people of DA-IICT about its structure then maybe I've failed, but apart from that nothing else.

Okay. Which scientist/s hold/s the place of greatest esteem in your heart and mind? Are they the 'transistor trio'?

(It came without a single thought, like a rocket) Albert Einstein. (Again alluding to his second commandment) See, Einstein had the imagination to see things beyond.

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:57 PM The scale on which he thought was unparalleled in the history of science. Of course, Bardeen, Braitten and Shockley were great visionaries but there was something mystic about Einstein which I revere him for.

Your favorite destination, sir.

(Even this response was pretty precipitous, literally I should say) Himalayas. (a wave of surprise crossed my head) Actually, I've been in the lap of Himalayas when I was a 10-year-old, it's heavenly and I 'd definitely like to retire there. (the hermit and his retreat.) I've been to most of the European countries like France, Germany and others but the one place that I'd really want to visit is Egypt. It is because, that is the seat of our civilization and I'm very curious to learn about it.

What extra-curricular activities were you involved in during your college days? How many of those hobbies do you continue to pursue today, sir?

Sports mostly. (a sparkle of nostalgia in his eyes) Table Tennis, some hockey too, didn't get time to play cricket. I don't have time, but I 'd definitely like to play TT. Ah! But not with the kind of facilities we have in the campus here. As I'd said, no compromises.

Which sports have you been most involved with, either as a player or a spectator? I've heard you're a TT enthusiast, weren't you?

TT as a player. I like watching Lawn Tennis. This guy, Roger Federer is an artist. he paints a picture with his racquet on the court. Football also. I stay up all night to watch World Cup or Euro Cup. Cricket, uhh.. very little.

Sir, I remember you once, narrating an anecdote from your past about a couple having met on an airport for the first time and getting married later on. Do you think our college possesses any of that chemistry to form such covalent bonds?

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:57 PM First of all, I don't believe in love at first sight, I think it's pure infatuation. and even if it might give temporary satisfaction, people generally end up repenting later. (Taking the metaphor from my question) See, this chemistry that you talk about has a very strong philosophy towards it. Why do you think people marry? This institution of marriage comes from a way to stop fights and acrimony between people. Look at the way the civilization has been formed. Marriage is a matter of match, a complete harmony and not just mutual understanding. I like classical music and so does my wife. What'd happen if our tastes don't tally? There would always be discordant tones. That's why arranged marriages are better than what these matrimonial websites profess them to be. (Taking further the chemistry metaphor) Arranged marriages are like covalent bonds, stronger, unlike the matrimonial union borne out of pure infatuation which is like an electrovalent bond formed due to the attraction of the opposites. Like the common salt, you put that into the solution of life and it dissociates into its components. I am not saying that such bonds cannot be formed here but what I'm saying is that one has to be sure about the bond one is forming with. You shouldn't marry someone, just because you had a deep crush on someone or because someone just besotted your senses temporarily.

From the heart of an honest man and the gut of a strong person, has the Cupid's arrow ever struck you in your life?

(He almost shoots it, in a honest-to-goodness manner) Never! (Then he takes a little trip down his memory lane, says smilingly) In fact, when I was in UCB, people used to ask me, "Who's your girl friend?", "Which girl are you dating?" I never gave in to those impulses but rather preferred to spend my time on nature trips with two of my then roommates. I think I've visited almost all of the National Parks in USA. On an average, this is the reason why Indians have seen more US than what the Americans have seen.

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 8:59 PM The point is that if a person engages himself only in courting and wooing the opposite sex, then this is what he'd do for the rest of his life.

Prof. Biswas, how much of a techno-savvy person you are? To rephrase, what are your prized technological possessions?

(His fingers are working on the IBM ThinkPad and I point towards it) This laptop, oh, I have it because they gave it to me. (very blatantly) When I'm driving even then I don't play any cassettes (when I mentioned the i-pod culture). My idea of music is to listen to it with closed eyes and calm head, letting it play on your senses. That's why when I go to music concerts, I just resign myself to music, forgetting everything else. But, as I must have said in your classes, that the idea of music and work together doesn't go down well with me. Well, not much of gadgets that I use.

If science and art were to be wedded into a holistic conjugal union, would you stand as a minister?

Of course, yes. (I alluded to Leonardo da Vinci) Vinci was a master of both the worlds. The human structure, as he'd found is full of mathematics (reminded me of Da Vinci Code). He was a all-rounded genius, as much a scientist as an artist.

What would you equate the joy of research with?

Flight of imagination. 99% of research is hard work. You do it because you want to do it. It's about venturing into the unknown, unchartered territories. You do not know the result rather you try to find it. Now, that gives you tremendous joy.

How do you generally spend your leisure period, reading books, watching TV or preparing assignments?

First of all, i don't get much time, let alone leisure time. (He alludes to Parkinson's Law) But whenever I do get time, I look for sports stuff on the tube, and yes preparing materials do take up my time. Like this, opamp circuit that I've been teaching for the last three years (points towards his laptop). Every year, I get to learn something, I make changes and tell it to the students. So, it's not the same old thing every year.

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 9:01 PM This is where research and teaching unite. But of course, I have one big fascination for Tolstoy's work, and I'd definitely like to read them in my free time. (points, triumphantly again towards his rich collection of Tolstoy's works shelved in the cupboard, in his office cubicle) I enjoy my profession, but people even say that I've become 'illiterate' because I don't read anything else.

Define happiness.

(very plainly and succinctly) "To be able to do, whatever you want to do". (He, then, narrates a story from Indian mythology about 'SwetKetu') You see, that's what happiness comprises.

Physicists and mathematicians try to ascribe equation like 1+e^(i*Pi)=0 to God. They say it's God's equation. If Electronics were to do a parallel act, what would that equation be? In other words how best can God be described in terms of Electronics?

(I prefaced this question with the revelation that this equation was voted the no.1 equation of the century in the current issue "Popular Science" magazine. He then asked me to explain it, which I convincingly did) Oh! then it has to be "Maxwell's Equations". It's because of it's symmetry and I love symmetry. (the love was evident on his visage) But I don't really believe in these religious overtones that they tend to attach with a pure mathematical expression. (like a true scientist) If you ask me, who God is? I don't think he exists. I consider myself free from any bias. I believe in what Einstein also believed in, 'radicalism'. I am an agnostic and not an atheist. I have taken what Picasso and Dali had taken, the irreverent approach. (He, then, tells a very interesting snippet about Einstein's research life) Einstein was working on his Grand Unified Theory of The Universe, which was supposed to subsume all the theories within it, an equation to describe 'God'. But, since he couldn't come up with anything else during that period, he was asked by the authorities at Princeton University as to what research was he doing? (resuming his stand)

|\|!~8*# 11/9/2006 9:02 PM If you try to associate so much theological meaning to such things, it leads either to shamanism or religious bigotry.

If I say, "You don't carry any chip on your shoulder". Would you disagree with me?

Well, looking back, I don't think, I carry any chip on my shoulder. I have always done what I've wanted to. Maybe, not being able to convince the authorities here at DA-IICT or not being able to see what I really want to see in this college could qualify as wafers on my shoulders. Apart from that, no.

Sir, today's youth at some point of time because of the spinning world around himself/herself gets smothered by confusion and finds a little hard to decide the future path. What suggestions do you offer to such 'errant' youths?

(very straightforwardly) This generation doesn't retrospect. One must go back and evaluate oneself on the scale of life. Money can't buy you happiness. If you are running in life for money, you are on the wrong track. As, I had said, enjoy what you do and try to find a purpose in that. Then ask yourself, is this really what you want to do in life? (He then cites the examples of two persons he knew) Sandip Pandey was a professor at IIT Kanpur, a degree from abroad also and then one fine day I read in the newspaper that he got the Magasaysay Award for some social cause. I mean, goes into the village and is trying to do something for them in a very unconventional way. I don't know what drives him to achieve such things but that is the question you must ask yourself. Then there was this Anil Agrawal, who recently died, was the most outspoken environmentalist. he was also involved with the Chipko Movement. He was a person like our Dr. Ganesh Devi, taking people to the outside for lectures. So, you must ask yourself. You must both introspect and retrospect.

What's the most daring thing that you've ever done in your life?

(The response that he gave was rather a story in itself and it left me in wonder and stitches. So, here's the story.)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

don't know

ignorance..
unwared of my sorroundings,
as i lie in respite.
a very thought of whats happening in
shrink my soul's size.

People say,
i lack the momentum..
i know ..and i dont mind
for whats cooking in
leaves no vent for outside

Objectivity,
doing good.. perfection,
masters of the change
"a very necesity?"
phew..vexes me from inside.

Woooff!!
A sprout of happiness
followed by a wink
into my darker side..
wow thats life ..


"find out who you are...and do what you worth"

Sunday, September 03, 2006

LOST ...

Ya am all bloody lost at the moment ..and the thing that worries me the most ...is my ignorance itself...staying on an oriented path(rather career oriented)..seems very difficult. Engineering is alluring but then ..a lot of things go against it .. there is absolutely no vent for creativity..no free space ... courses are not obsolete... but even they are very performance oriented ... semesters pass by and the only constant that remains is a continous slogging ...give tests to pass them ...do better to pass them gracefully ... bunk them to show ur not concerned ...all it seems that proffesional colleges teach how to live a very kewl ...and a good ..stereotyped in life...

..Not that i have nothing to put the blame upon me ... but cant really help that ... interests do vary ...not only from one individual to the other .. but even with time ...and keeping aside one only becoz ..the other is ethically more important or people count on you and wish that u perform..really vexes me .. well as of now am all trapped in my plot of A's & B's ..and would love staying ignorant to it ..until i some day find a solution to all of it ...

"STAY HUNGRY .. STAY FOOLISH"... steve jobs

Thursday, August 31, 2006